August 25, 2002

Growing up, I always learned that there were wants and needs. You need food, medicine, and a roof to live under. You want magazines, stereos, and televisions. Apparently my education both at home and in school neglected the third level of desire – which goes by the name of “crave”.

I was originally skeptical of the actual existence of the word. After all, “cravings” have been wielded as one the most unforgiving weapons against men since the beginning of time. I was sure that the word had been created by women as a cruel joke to husbands and boyfriends the world over. But alas, I looked-up crave in the dictionary and one definition was:

2) To need urgently, require.

Ouch, this was a direct blow to my theory. There was indeed a level of desire beyond wants or even a basic level of needs. It was true, cravings were somewhat of an emergency need. But, wait, there are two more definitions. I scanned the first next:

1) To have an intense desire for.

Ahh, so this definition downgrades cravings to a level of desire beneath needs and above wants. But I am still unsatisfied. I mean when was the last time that you were sitting around a bunch of guys and heard the words “I am craving french fries right now”? Guys don’t crave ice cream, chocolate, candy, or fattening foods – they just want them, and eat them. Simple as that. And after all, isn’t an intense desire just that, an intense desire? There’s no need to make up another word for it. But to women, cravings are omnipotent and undeniable. You never know where one will strike.

The third definition:

3) To beg earnestly for; implore

Exactly! Cravings are not desires, they are excuses to eat junk food and make it all seem OK. They are mandates that send many guys off of the 3am-Jack-in-the-Box-run plank. Next time I hear the word used… I’m not buying it. I’ll let her make the trip to Safeway for pickles and peanut butter.

Posted by alex at August 25, 2002 02:34 AM

Don't you ever crave a beer? I never trust an Irishman (or partial Irishman) if he doesn't crave a beer. But then it's actually a neccessity and never really a crave? So, I'll just shut up and grab another pint. Cheers!

Posted by: marc on August 27, 2002 4:41 AM

Forget your cravings and grab an addiction, preferably a physical one. Nothing like those to get you out of the house at 3am... or so I'm told.

Posted by: teddy on August 27, 2002 12:07 PM

You are such a hard-ass

Posted by: Robin on August 29, 2002 7:48 PM

This is where part II of this article would be helpful: If there are no cravings, then those "needs" that aren't exactly needs must be addictions. But don't tell your girlfriend that she is addicted to chocolate, she might get a craving to kill you.

Posted by: AO on August 29, 2002 9:55 PM

Yeah, I think it is fair to say that Irishmen need beer. It falls under "food" for us.

Posted by: AO on August 29, 2002 9:56 PM
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