Katieblog

Woke Up This Morning

From this week's New Yorker.

And the superego theory, of course, is the theory that diaries are really written for the eyes of others. They are exercises in self-justification. When we describe the day?€™s events and our management of them, we have in mind a wise and benevolent reader who will someday see that we played, on the whole, and despite the best efforts of selfish and unworthy colleagues and relations, a creditable game with the hand we were dealt.

I guess this is the kind of diarist I am. My journal is largely composed of letters never sent (which reminds me of a guy I used to know with the cheesy IM handle "letterneversent"). Sometimes I guess I meant to send them and/or finish them, but mostly they're drafts of something I hope to get right later. On the occasion that one gets out the door, I sometimes wish I could keep a copy. Hm, maybe that discounts my diagnosis of the superego theory.

I read once that Don DeLillo makes copies of all his letters before he sends them off to his postmodern friends. I guess that's a good idea if you think your recipient may take your words out of context in the hopes that you can't remember what you wrote. Controversial subjects shouldn't be resolved in letter form anyway.

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