Final's Week! Hurrah! Wish me luck ladies and gentlemen, it's time to get to the be all, end all of the semester! Hurrah! Finished one, half way through the second, and have my last one tonight! Hurrah! Maybe i'll keep yeah posted on my grades, but that's only if you're being good!
Recently, my friend Brooke has told me that my love life is something of interest to her. I've told her a few stories concerning all the mishaps up until recent but not all of them, and she thinks that I should package it in a memoir and sell it.
I don't know about this. I think by doing that, I would alienate my family and make a few more enemies than I already have. So, instead, I've decided to post some of them here, right on the good ole world wide web. Nobody is going to read them anyway except for a few good friends and maybe a few of my family, so I think that I can get away with some chuckles and some good laughs. I'm going to start from the beginning and go all the way to the most recent failure.
Maybe one day I'll publish it, but then, who would want to read about some guys failed love life? Maybe it would make a fine coffee table book?
My First Kiss
The first girl I ever kissed was in Kindergarten at SpringView Grade School in Huntington Beach. Oh, young and unbridled love.
I remember that her name was Anna and I remember we were both in Mrs. Beaver's class. She had lovely brown hair, young and vivacious looks (obviously, we were like 5-years-old), and read 'The Cat in the Hat' like no other kid in class. I liked finger painting and the tire swing, she liked it when we did the calender and weather each morning.
Our first and only kiss was during recess one day and we usually hung out near the merry-go-round with all the other kids in the sandbox. On this warm and beautiful day, we both closed our eyes, puckered our lips, and made the kissy noise, that people kissing make. You know, what girlfriend and boyfriends are supposed to do.
We broke up two days later on the playground teeter-toter. I was at the bottom, and she was teetering up at the top. No joke, she liked the 2nd grader John and broke up with me because she wanted to date an older kid. Hmhp. Like he even knew she was alive.
Tree trimming has alluded me these past couple of years. Every year that my family has trimed the tree, I've been out with my friends causing havoc, and coming home reaking of it. So this year, when my friend Brooke gave me the invite to go and trim the tree at her house with all of her friends, I couldn't pass up the opportunity.
Pizza, Martinelli's Sparkling Apple Juice, and Christmas Cheer, Hurrah! The group of us being Brooke, Christina, Megan, Todd, and of course, myself, trimming in Christmas joy sounds like it would be a moment to remember.
Well, if that moment is Hell, how could anyone forget!
It wasn't hell, I know Brooke will be reading this at some point and she freaks out about things like that, so I had to scare her. Aha ha ha!
No, it was like mashed potatoes on Sunday afternoon at my Mom's house (and yes, that's a good thing). We had the typical 'ball-o-lights' that took hours to get onto the tree and lots of bickering from those who were undoing the bastard things. There was the drunken (on Martinelli's?) Todd and Brooke, swinging around the pizza cutting knife, and downing the bottle of Sparkling Apple Juice as if they were your favorite drunken uncle, trying to get back at dad for all the anger that he caused when he made you wear that stupid bunny outfit that Christmas! Oh how I know that bunny outfit that your aunt Fabrica made. God, that thing was hideous!
Brooke going crazy! Megan touched her feet to Brooke's leg. Talk about weird phobias! Christina freaking out when I sat on her and rubbed my butt against her leg! Ha ha ha! Sound's weird, you'd just have to be there.
All and all, what a great Christmas trimming time.
Twenty-four years ago today, at 7:00 p.m., my mother decided that the parasite that was living in her womb needed to pass through and try to live on its own. Sadly, I was the result.
Maybe I should give myself some ridiculous resolutions now, instead of doing it on New Years. I hate New Years. I like my birthday.
1. Eat more potatoes. I don't eat enough of them already. More mashed potatoes.
2. Finish reading "Notes From Underground" by Dostoevsky. I've started it at least 10 times.
3. Wear my hot pink jumpsuit.
4. Sleep under the covers, not over the covers.
5. Start my own UFO religion and move to Mexico.
Thanks Mom. Thanks Dad.